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Which sentence should be revised to reduce wordiness?

Options

  • AA. People live with a general expectation of privacy, not considering how thoroughly their daily actions are monitored and recorded by various devices.
  • BB. Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail stores, is to be expected as necessary in order to provide security for the businesses.
  • CC. People don't often consider how thoroughly their activities are monitored and recorded.
  • DD. People live with a general expectation of privacy, but in reality their daily actions are being monitored and recorded by various devices.

Answer

Sentence A is the most wordy and should be revised for clarity. It combines multiple ideas into a long construction, making it less effective. A more concise version could simplify the message while retaining its meaning.

Explanation

To determine which sentence should be revised to reduce wordiness, we need to analyze each option for excessive length or unnecessary details. A. People live with a general expectation of privacy, not considering how thoroughly their daily actions are monitored and recorded by various devices. This sentence is quite long and includes multiple ideas, making it wordy. B. Some monitoring, such as video surveillance in many businesses, including banks and retail stores, is to be expected as necessary in order to provide security for the businesses. This sentence also incorporates multiple clauses and phrases which makes it complex. C. People don't often consider how thoroughly their activities are monitored and recorded. This sentence is concise and to the point, so it does not need revision. D. People live with a general expectation of privacy, but in reality their daily actions are being monitored and recorded by various devices. This sentence is a bit lengthy but communicates clearly the contrast between expectation and reality. Among these options, sentence A is the one that is most wordy and could benefit from revision. It contains several unnecessary words and ideas that can be simplified, such as combining key thoughts to make it more straightforward. For instance, it could be revised to: "People often expect privacy without considering how their actions are monitored by devices." This way, it maintains the meaning while being clearer and more concise.

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